October 4, 2015

"Married, they could have capitalized on their across-the-aisle relationship — made it their 'brand,' a la James Carville and Mary Matalin, with a book deal or a TV gig perhaps."

"But anything like that, Mary Katharine said, would have felt false. They weren’t at complete opposite ends of the spectrum; they weren’t even sure they believed in a spectrum. They were fiercely independent, just as they wanted their kids to be. Making themselves a bipartisan sideshow would only get in the way."

From "She was a conservative pundit. He was a liberal activist. At home, none of that mattered."

ADDED: Here's audio from a 2011 radio show with Jake Brewer and Mary Katharine Ham talking about the "dumb" political arguments they've had.

48 comments:

amielalune said...

I'd rather not know that. I lost respect for both of them. Not that it matters; it's still a very sad story.

Skyler said...

I'm sorry her children will be without their father. Not everything in life is politics.

But for people who make politics their career, I wonder about their convictions when they marry someone so opposed to those convictions,

Skyler said...

I'm sorry her children will be without their father. Not everything in life is politics.

But for people who make politics their career, I wonder about their convictions when they marry someone so opposed to those convictions,

MayBee said...

I find this so incredibly sad.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

A tragedy, for sure.

But today's Liberalism is an existential threat to the country as founded. It would seem to me that one would not put oneself forth as a spokesman and influencer against it, when one can't even persuade one's own spouse to drop the destructive ideas.

Think obese dietitian. Who takes them seriously?

MisterBuddwing said...

You can say they both knew there were things in life much more important than politics. You can say that they had no real political convictions to begin with.

I prefer the former.

Michael K said...

He died as a consequence of the left's fixation on bicycles and the right of bicyclists to share road with cars.

Too bad but it is a growing problem.

Accident rates per kilometer are 26 to 48 times higher for bikes than for automobiles (13).

Nearly 44,000 cyclists have died in traffic crashes in the United States since 1932 (the first year in which estimates of cyclist fatalities were recorded) (14).

U.S. cyclists are three times more likely to be killed than German cyclists and six times more than Dutch cyclists, whether compared per-trip or per-distance traveled (7).

According the British Medical Journal, the most important deterrent to riding bikes expressed by non-cyclists is fear of motor traffic


And yet cars are said to be the cause rather than using a 50 pound vehicle on the same street as a 3,000 pound vehicle.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

But, MisterBuddwing, politics, correctly understood, are values made manifest. That sounds kinda like 'life', to me.

Phil 314 said...

Gosh, seems everyone has to see the politics of the situation, not the relationship nor the sadness.

Y'all need to get out more.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...
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SomeoneHasToSayIt said...
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SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

Phil 3:14 , your handle implies your goal and focus is some hoped for afterlife, which would mean her husband is already there. So, home at last, no?

pm317 said...

I guess not all Obots are douches. Sorry to lose one of them. And a heartbreak for Mary Katherine Ham.

Laslo Spatula said...

Someone is late for their Fisting.

I am Laslo.

Birches said...

As someone who is about a month shy of Mary Katherine's due date, I can't imagine having to deliver without my spouse. Such a tragedy.


Amadeus 48 said...

This is a tough crowd. But when media people suffer a devastating loss, it always becomes a public event.
Good manners might suggest sympathy or silence from the Althouse commenters. Kudos to those who are critical but have held their tongues. The others appear heartless.

mccullough said...

Nice to see they were not ideologues

harrogate said...

I used to regularly follow MK Ham's blogging--always thoughtful, always bringing a touch of humor and fun to the enterprise even as she made her conservative politics clear. She really is a gifted communicator. To those who are questioning how two people with different political perspectives could be married and love each other: I know that for the most part you're just kidding. I bet every single person on this board has loved someone, perhaps deeply and romantically, with whom you disagreed about all sorts of issues. Politics is a subset of life, not the other way around.

Anyways, I love the part of the story where he asked her out and she had totally forgoten him the next time they met. That's the sort of thing that actually happens, it's very human and heartfelt, and though I am not a spiritual person at all, it has the makings of one of those "meant to be" stories, that they would be together.

I fucking hate that he died in this way with a small child and another on the way. It's a terrible, terrible world, I often think to myself. But the only one that we have.

Thanks for sharing this, AA. It made me think.

pm317 said...

Nice to see they were not ideologues

Yes. And they were good about not making themselves an exhibit, (MKH says it was by design). Also from the story, it appears that his liberal friends (and mom?) were not all that thrilled that she was a Fox Republican. I think this tragedy is getting all this attention because of his WH and Obama connections. I am impressed with MKH about how she is dealing with this sudden loss. It is not easy.

pm317 said...

Anyways, I love the part of the story where he asked her out and she had totally forgoten him the next time they met.

Yeah, me too. I was curious about how they met and the WaPO article tells it. I followed this story from when it happened having seen MKH on O'Reilly, and felt sad for her. It happened around where we live and we have driven on those roads visiting the vineyards that are in that area. And My husband was coincidentally talking about buying a bike at the same time and I had to extract promises of what he will not do because of this story.

Big Mike said...

I will always believe that Mary Matalin sold out George H. W. Bush for Carville.

William said...

It's not like Goebbel's press secretary married an NKVD interrogator. There were lots of overlap in their views, and those places that don't overlap are not that hard to work around. It's a sad story.......I'm sure she'll survive, but her life will be irrevocably worse.

rehajm said...

Following Mr. President's lead making this an 'on' week' for turning tragedy into political opportunity it should be pointed out modern bike culture encourages the confrontation of cars and cyclists. If allowed by time it isn't inappropriate to arrive at the conclusion: this isn't a good idea.

Christopher said...

The last really serious relationship I had (far too long ago!) was with a pretty hard-core liberal, and I was a Tea Party guy before there was a Tea Party. We broke up for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with politics. I think it would have become more challenging with children, but I'll bet MKH and Jake Brewer would have managed just fine.

I can scarcely imagine the heartbreak she's going through. For a public figure--which is what she was, perhaps far more than her husband--I think part of working this out almost has to include sharing some of this in public. I'll bet she's trying to wring as much good out of this as possible, so she's telling the world that political differences can be managed without hatred. Mind you, I'm saying that as someone who feels that some political beliefs, and some of the people who hold them, are fully worthy of hatred. But I think that's where she's coming from.

As for the accident, I hear it was the first bike event held by this organization and the route they chose, especially in the early sections where he crashed, was badly laid out. A commenter in the first Post story about this said two or three other entrants were taken away in ambulances. Regardless, if you bike for a long time, as I have, eventually you're going to find yourself in a jam you could have prevented, even if you're not a hot dog. (Substitute the words "drive" or "pilot" or "sail" or "kayak" or "live," they all apply). Brewer probably attacked an unknown turn too quickly. Rest in peace, brother, on another day it could have been me, or will be.

pm317 said...

@Christopher, the roads were open to car traffic..

Christopher said...

Yes, pm317, as are most biking events I've participated in. There are smart and less-smart ways to do this. It's been debated endlessly, including here. Have a super day.

Christopher said...
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Anonymous said...

I know some young people who are so thoroughly dense or indoctrinated that they think that the political job they have is just that: a job. It isn't. Support of any kind to liberalism is treasonous behavior in my mind

I never even consider a conversation with a woman who exhibits the traits of modern liberalism, I cut some younger women some slack but at the first sound of anything resembling the narrative I cut and run. The last instance, Althouse might be amused, was with a young woman at a Starbucks. We struck up a conversation after I told a joke to a barista. The young woman about five minutes in mentioned that she wrote her senior thesis at Starbucks to which I asked, "How long?" "Twenty pages, art history majors don't have to write long papers," she replied. "Hey, I really have to get going," I said and left.

CatherineM said...

I follow MKH on Twitter and so the first I heard of this was when other pundits were tweeting their condolences. It is strange when your heart goes out to someone you have never met, but I was so saddened for her.

I heard MKH twice on Alison Rosen's podcast just because I like MKH. Alison is one of those types that believes that there is a right way and a wrong way. Republicans being wrong and evil. She was always (in both podcasts!) so surprised how much she liked MKH and how she made her "mixed marriage" work. Like many people on this blog, that is such narrow minded thinking and I am glad for both Jake and MKH that they didn't miss out on love and being loved because they disagreed on school choice. Good grief.

It is also a shame that people on this blog have to politicize his death while bicycling! He's a liberal on a bike, so he must be a "critical mass" fanatic and had it coming? What is wrong with you?

He seemed to be a great guy who managed to accomplish so much and touch the lives of many even though he was so young. Just so sad for their children who will never get to grow up with him.

Jim S. said...

My aunt once told me that if you and your spouse agree on everything, one of you is unnecessary.

walter said...

Well...you can understand Matalin's deal with the Devil.
...Carville's good looks, charming demeanor and all...

Phil 314 said...

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

"Phil 3:14 , your handle implies your goal and focus is some hoped for afterlife, which would mean her husband is already there. So, home at last, no?"

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

So you're rejoicing over what they are mourning. Got it.

eddie willers said...

As someone who has been on both sides (I was a staunch liberal until the Clarence Thomas hearings) I have found this cliche to be true: Liberals think their opponents are evil. Conservatives think their opponents are wrong.

From what I could tell, he was a "good" liberal. They both wanted what was best for the country, but disagreed on what was the best way to accomplish this.

Since I was 38 before I saw the light, my bet is that MKH would have turned him in a few years.

rehajm said...
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eric said...

Over the last year or so, I've noticed that MKH has been stumping for things not so Republican or Conservative. She was soft on immigration, for example, and was all for legalized marijuana. It seemed like every time I saw her on a talking head show, or she wrote a piece at Hot Air, it was to the left of her audience. Not full tilt left, but to the left.

Now it all makes sense.

It seems to me if you're a political pundit (Like Matlin and Carville) and you work in politics, you should reveal these things about yourself to the audience. If you write about oil and drilling politics and are paid by Chevron, you should divulge that. If you tout yourself as a conservative Republican and you're married to someone who works for a liberal Democrat, you should divulge that.

Then let us, the reader, determine if it's biased your writing or not.

rehajm said...

It is also a shame that people on this blog have to politicize his death while bicycling! He's a liberal on a bike, so he must be a "critical mass" fanatic and had it coming?

One of the responsibilities of a parent is to instill rational fears in your children.

Responsible parents teach their children not to ride their bikes in traffic. Some children never get the message.

harrogate said...

Eddie Willers wrote:

"Liberals think their opponents are evil."

I know that's doctrine for a lot of people. But I am a liberal and I don't think this way at all. There are far too many conservatives who have always loved me, and whom I always have loved, for this to be true. And also if I thought this way, I wouldn't be on these comment boards which, let's be honest, are pretty dominated by conservatives.

I know a lot of liberals and none of them think the conservatives they know are evil. Sometimes though we all fall prey to thinking the people we only know through television are evil though, because they aren't really "people," or something.

Anyway, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this story today. I know MKH will be alright ecoonomically and socially--she's got it together on all fronts. But damn. My heart just goes out to her. I can't imagine raising two small children if my wife passed away so suddenly.

sinz52 said...

SomeoneHasToSayIt sez: "politics, correctly understood, are values made manifest"

Not all of it. Certainly not today.

Politics in America is also about electoral votes, polls, focus groups, campaigns, funding, turnout, who's able to outmaneuver whom, etc. Politics is about *strategy*.

That seems to be how Matalin and Carville see it. To them, politics is a lot like chess or poker.

I pride myself on having had friends from all across the political spectrum, from hard right to hard left. We didn't agree on issues, but we enjoyed each other's company and we respected each other's point of view. We, and especially I, did NOT imbue politics with this apocalyptic significance that some folks here have expressed. We all had lives beyond it.

CatherineM said...
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CatherineM said...

Eric - so MKH should go through a laundry list of her beliefs before the beginning of her book, article or appearance so you can judge whether or not she is a "real" conservative and if you should continue reading? Because if she doesn't believe that pot should remain an illegal substance then she is not really a conservative and you won't enjoy the article? You think that's the same as being paid by Chevron and going on CNN as someone pro-drilling?

She didn't hide her marriage and that he was a liberal. They just aren't as famous Matalin and Carville.

CatherineM said...

Rehajm - so he had it coming by not riding a bike in a park and he's a bad parent. Got it.

Birches said...

I am soft on immigration and am pretty ambivalent about pot, this would be the first I've heard that I'm not a conservative.

pm317 said...

@Christopher, "as are most biking events I've participated in. "

I didn't know that. Why would they leave the roads open for traffic? I drive on Beach drive most days of the week and it is a pain for both the bikers and the cars and in a race, it is a different mindset altogether, though the road he was on (Old Frederick Rd) is kind of a rural road. Anyway, be careful out there.

eric said...

CatherineM,

I have no idea what you're talking about. She always goes through a laundry list of her belief's. It's what she is always writing about. Her belief's. That's what she does for a living. But she should have come out and said she was married to someone working in, and believing in, the Obama administration.

You say she didn't hide it, but I read her on HotAir, watch her on O'Reilly, and have her on twitter, and I had no idea she was married to a shill of the Obama administration. I've been wondering about her claims to being a conservative (She is certainly a Republican, of the McCain variety) but a Conservative, for at least a year now.

Now it all makes perfect sense.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

sinz52 said...
SomeoneHasToSayIt sez: "politics, correctly understood, are values made manifest"

Not all of it.


Yes, all of it. That is what politics IS - the implementation of values, in society. If you are going to use my quote to launch your own thoughts, at least try to be fair to my plain meaning. I said "correctly understood", and you then went on to talk about tactics. And that's fine, but you should not start out with "Not all of it" and then not show what part of politics is NOT reflective of one's values. Again, your comments are about tactics, the tactics some use to try to implement their values.

Want better politics? Start with better values.

CStanley said...

I was sad when I heard about his death and found their story somewhat surprising and inspiring. If you look at politics as a means to an end, and the various ideologies as different means that are potentially leading to similar ends (similar core values) than you can agree to disagree respectfully with people who hold opposing views.

As I've thought about this couple more though, I've found myself wondering how you can get past your spouse being employed by people who hate you and everything you stand for. That would be the part that make such a relationship untenable to me- and now reading this article, also learning about his mother's reaction (which, unless it was a joke, would have certainly caused me to run away, fast, from this relationship.)

So- if they were really making this work, well, good for them....but I find it hard to believe because of the current venomous atmosphere among Democrats toward Republicans. It seems a bit like a mixed race marriage where the white person has KKK relatives and friends, or the black person goes to Rev Wright's church or is part of the BLM movement.

In any case, it's sad for her and her children and I wish them well.

rehajm said...

CatherineM said...
Rehajm - so he had it coming by not riding a bike in a park and he's a bad parent. Got it.


Intentionally or not you missed the point that riding bicycles in close proximity to vehicular traffic is inherently more dangerous than riders are willing to recognize, and no amount of wishing or shaming or 'advocacy' makes it acceptably less so. I had not considered that he was a bad parent for engaging in such risky behavior, but since you propose it I suppose one could make a case. Unfortunately we won't get to find out what kind of parent he is.