May 17, 2005

When the family pet is a masturbating monkey...

You tend to want to get a dog when you grow up. And dammit, you didn't like the monkey and now you don't like the dog!

2 comments:

DaveG said...

I wonder what my daughter's memories of Hogarth will be. I'm convinced that his neutering just didn't take, considering his propensity for, uh, straddling and uh, canine pelvic thrusts. My theory is that when kids crawl around on the floor, dogs can get a little confused about the family hierarchy. This is exhibited in behavior that can be a little difficult to explain to the younger ones, and more than a little embarrassing to parents.

My daughter used to tell me that Hogarth was "hugging" her. I told her that he wasn't hugging her, he had already rounded third base and was heading for home. She just recently learned what that meant, and actually got a laugh out of it.

Someday I'll ask her whether she would have preferred the monkey.

Here's a picture of the species-confused dog in question:

http://shortfinal.blogspot.com/2004/11/this-is-hogarth.html

purple_kangaroo said...

Hogarth, there are ways to break the dog of doing that. Please talk to your vet or a reputable dog trainer in your area.

This is a dominance-related behavior problem, and is considered by vets and dog trainers to be a serious problem. When I worked as a veterinary assistant and as a dog trainer, mounting behavior toward humans was not to be tolerated in any situation and was grounds for an animal to be put down if it could not be solved.

That type of thing can be extremely traumatizing to a child and can literally have the same effects as sexual abuse, especially if they don't feel they can stop the animal from doing it or if the adults they are counting on to protect them laugh it off. Unwanted sexual advances from a human or animal should never be tolerated, especially where a child is concerned. A large dog is very powerful and can be frightening to even an adult and, much like a relationship with an adult or a more powerful child, a kid may not feel it's OK to assert themselves and vocalize that they are bothered by it.

If you can't get the dog to stop this behavior, than please, for your daughter's sake, find the dog a new home or have it put down. It's not worth the damage it could do to your child.