August 17, 2006

Freakishness for fall.

The Style section in today's NYT is full of frightening stories, almost like it's a special spoof edition.

First, we see that the new look for fall is lots of thick, floppy, frumpy, grayish layers. And don't you know it's all a struggle "between clothes that truly attempt to reflect cultural diversity and those that submit to the aesthetic of money"?

Then, we see that eyebrows should be thick and bushy and actively mussed up with clear mascara so they stick up "like plumage" and give the face "a wild expression ... described as 'sauvage.'" But if you don't do it just so, you'll look like Groucho Marx.... a risk you're going to have to take.

Next, we learn that the shoes of the season are "muscle shoes":
The shoes in question are black, bulky and baffling. They have high wedges or cumbersome platforms. Some take the form of demiboots. One pair of leather and suede ankle boots from Balenciaga comes with a harness, a sole thick enough to look like an encyclopedia and a pointy upturned toe, which leaves the top of the shoe looking like a basin....

If the current style has anything to say about sex, it is the suggestion that women suddenly possess little or no enthusiasm for it. Instead the shoes convey the tensions of combative times, said Suzanne Ferris, co-editor of “Footnotes,’’ a scholarly anthology on the meaning of shoes. “This sense of war and fighting and the need to be tougher seems evident,’’ she said.
Blame Bush!

And don't forget your hats.

The unusual stupidity of these styles makes it easier than usual to imagine the articles a year from now that will tell us why no one wants to wear that anymore. Or maybe it will take two years to grow out of this stuff. Since it's Bush's fault, we may need to torture you with this stuff until a Democrat is moved into the White House.

29 comments:

Fritz said...

Ann,
Have you read the terrorist bill of rights ruling? She is also giving attorney client privilege to foreign terrorists.

For example, scholars and journalists such as plaintiffs Tara McKelvey, Larry Diamond, and Barnett Rubin indicate that they must conduct extensive research in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia, and must communicate with individuals abroad whom the United States government believes to be terrorist suspects or to be associated with terrorist organizations. 12 In addition, attorneys Nancy Hollander, William Swor, Joshua Dratel, Mohammed Abdrabboh, and Nabih Ayad indicate that they must also communicate with individuals abroad whom the United States government believes to be terrorist suspects or to be associated with terrorist organizations, 13 and must discuss confidential information over the phone and email with their international clients. 14

http://www.mied.uscourts.gov/_opinions/judgeOpin.cfm?e_jd_ID=4531

Joseph said...

Making your eyebrows unusually bushy seems odd, but I am supportive of ending the opposite trend of waxing and plucking away all but an unnaturally thin line of eyebrow.

Ann Althouse said...

Fritz: I just did a new post. Haven't read the decision yet.

Joan said...

I got the Victoria's Secret fall clothing catalog last week and flipped through it, thinking "Well, clothes have turned ugly again." Seriously, who but the most painfully thin look good in cigarette pants? The big top, skinny leg look (not seen in the NYT article, but seen a lot elsewhere) was hideous in the 80s and it's hideous now. All those layers of cloth and the swathing and wrapping make me think that the designers are finally ashamed of their models' bodies -- or that they're catering to the segment of the population that believes clothing is meant to hide our bodies, not complement them. Ick.

I'll stick with the classics.

Freeman Hunt said...

I especially enjoyed the frumpy sweater with the giant belt just over the ribs with another frumpy sweater layered on top. And the shoes they showed were just hideous. Everything looks like it was designed by people who hate women.

The eyebrow thing--woohoo! I wouldn't mind if that became popular. I have caterpillars resting over my eyes if I forego the trimming and tweezing.

P_J said...

Since it's Bush's fault, we may need to torture you with this stuff until a Democrat is moved into the White House.


They tortured the English language, and I didn't complain.

They tortured terrorists, and I silently acquiesced.

They tortured innocent clothing, and I said nothing.

Then they came to torture me ... but by that time there was a Democrat in the White House, so the torture stopped.

knox said...

Clothes have been getting uglier and uglier over the last several years. I received an Anthropologie fall catalogue the other day (it is admittedly a very trendy brand, but usually has nice, feminine clothes in good taste), and it is chock-full of hideous styles.

I think the shoe styles they are pushing this fall... well, hideous is the only word for it. It's like, if you want me to wear heels, at least make them pretty. High heels that are also ugly???? insult to injury!

jeff said...

Style (also Fashion) n. Something so ugly it must be changed every 3 to 6 months.

knox said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
P_J said...

To get the desired look, don't forget to schedule an appointment with your "professional eyebrow groomer" -- as recommended in the article.

Reason #4,271 why it's easier being a guy.

Then again, if I were a woman I'd laugh at this stuff anyway.

Melinda said...

Ah, but the Audrey Hepburn "beatnik" look, always a classic, is back again. At prices that no beatnik ever could have afforded.

tiggeril said...

I never thought I'd ever read the phrase "eyebrow prosthetics."

P_J said...

Truly -- Yes, you're right. I didn't mean to say that men don't need grooming attention, but that our needs are solved more easily and cheaply.

I like to look and smell nice. I clean up pretty well. But I can't imagine spending even $50 for a haircut. And "professional eyebrow groomer" is just a laugh-out-loud concept.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

I'm sort of a fan of these boots. They were really comfy when I wore them in the Army.

Bissage said...

Joan: Some of the classics offer good looks plus a useful freedom of movement.

Ruth Anne Adams: Here are examples of the sincerest form of flattery updated with a fresh sensibility.

Dave: It’s a great idea but the competition is tough to beat.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Truly: I was in the Army in the late 80s/early 90s. They were pretty close to a hundred bucks back then.

Bissage: I'm flattered. I think.

Beau said...

The last time I had my eyebrows shaped three of the four chairs were occupied by young men. Thought I'd walked into the wrong spa. Though I had the caterpillar look the overplucked unnatural half circle arch is as equally hideous.

As for thick frumpy clothing, the slimming clothes I buy end up making me look this way anyway. Now I'll be sweating in wool at the same time....always an attractive look.

'But if you don't do it just so, you'll look like Groucho Marx.... a risk you're going to have to take.' Hilarious!

Beau said...

Hate not had.

Richard Dolan said...

The inane contortions of women's fashion proves the wisdom behind the ancient Jewish prayer, traditionally recited by men daily thanking God that they were not born as women.

Ann says "Blame Bush" for the "muscle shoes" that seem to be this fall's offering. Why not, since he is already being blamed for the weather, Islamofascism, and just about everything in between.

Perhaps that also explains why Bush and Repubs generally do better with men than women. Men don't have to "Blame Bush" for changing shoe styles or imposing on them other unwearable stuff. Like most men, I don't need to worry about changing shoe styles -- I've been buying the same black cap-toe shoe for decades. As for business attire, the choice is between blue or grey, preferably both dark, while you get to choose whether to have a stripe or cuffs. And for an added bonus, decent men's clothes are standardized -- one maker's size 42 reg fits pretty much just like another's -- and are well made.

It may well be that the "new look for fall is lots of thick, floppy, frumpy, grayish layers." But that's only for women. Thank God.

Maxine Weiss said...

Double knits.

Double and triple knit dressing.

Hosiery. Tights, silk stockings, knee-highs etc.

--Thick cable-knit socks.

Shetland, camel's hair, and lambswool.

--Pleated plaid skirts

The plush brow.

---hides a multitude of sins.

Peace, Maxine

Beth said...

Truly, it occurs to me that there is a whole generation of young women out there, with another on the way, who have no sense of what it feels like to have their pants actually cover their asscrack. (I feel crass. Sorry, is there a polite term for that?)

Ann Althouse said...

Rear cleavage?

Beth said...

Does anyone remember who said something to the effect that the fashion industry was just a big, long running joke on rich people?

Shhh, don't tell them or they'll think of something other way to make a spectacle of themselves. It's not just women; Esquire always has some ads for men's fashion that makes me cringe.

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Beth said...

Rear cleavage?

Ah, that's good!

knox said...

I guess this is just an interesting fashion moment and I'm glad to see the back of, uh, the back-cleavage style

Won't argue with you there! One thing I'm really grateful for is longer shirts... I was really sick of the "tiny tee"

knox said...

Where the heck is jennifer, anyway, this thread has her written all over it...

Beth said...

knoxgirl: I was really sick of the "tiny tee"

Also called the "baby tee," I think; no grown woman ought to be wearing something so named.

knox said...

Elizabeth,
I remember hearing "Friends" had really caused them to be the rage... of course, it was Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston--both teeny, tiny skinny women with giant chests--who wore them on the show. Hey, more power to em, but only about .001% of the female population fits that demographic, and we got stuck with them for like a decade!